Why Ghosting a Girl Is the Worst Thing You Can Possibly Do

This is probably the worst time to be in your 20s trying to find love. If you talk to your parents, they’ll probably, not probably- definitely, tell you that when they were our age, people faced the truth, they had that confrontation, and they conversated.

Now being in 2019, what happens when somebody doesn’t want to date you anymore? They “ghost” you.

According to Urban Dictionary:

Ghosting: When a person cuts off all communication with their friends or the person they're dating, with zero warning or notice beforehand. You'll mostly see them avoiding friend's phone calls, social media, and avoiding them in public.

Basically, a person is too scared to tell another person that they are seeing (or someone they associated with), that they don’t want anything to do with them anymore. We are at this weird point where people feel much more stronger behind a keyboard, and I genuinely believe this is the reason millennials are so messed up emotionally. We can’t have a conversation with our feelings. Instead, we Tweet about them... or write articles about them (I never said I wasn’t a millennial).

I want to discuss why ghosting a girl is probably one of the worst things a guy can do to her. Let’s start with this. The guy that probably ghosted you is someone you liked on Tinder or another dating app. You guys talked a little, hooked up, went on a couple of dates, and then the guy realized he wasn’t looking for anything serious so he left you on read, deleted you off of every social media application, and won’t answer your calls. I think what guys don’t really understand is the fact that girls need that closure. We need to know that we weren’t the reason that you stopped talking to us. When you ghost a girl, she goes through every single text message, every single step she took from the moment she met you, every single little thing that had happened, and overthinks EVERYTHING.

We ask ourselves:

“Is it because I said I like vanilla ice cream and he likes chocolate?”

“Was it the perfume I wore when he was kissing my neck?”

“Did he think one of my friends were cute and started talking to them instead?”

“I really liked him... what went wrong?”

And that’s the worst of all. When we question who we really are and why this happens with every single guy. That is the worst thing a guy can do to a girl, make her feel like she doesn’t deserve happiness or she’s too ugly to date someone.

If you are a guy that is reading this, you’re probably asking yourself if you’ve done this to someone before. You think, by ghosting, “How am I making her feel bad if I didn’t even say anything like that to her?” Let me tell you. By not telling a girl how you really feel, you put the thought in her mind that she didn’t even deserve that closure in the first place.

And that’s the reality of it. I truly wish we were all young when our parents were. Yes, I know they weren’t all part of love stories, but a lot of them were. We all strive to have that genuine, can’t live without love. Each experience and every heartbreak is the reason we grow as people. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be loved.

For all the girls reading this, remember that it takes you getting ghosted by 100 frogs before meeting your prince.

And for all the guys reading this, no girl deserves these thoughts and no girl deserves to be ghosted. Gain the strength and tell her how you really feel.