Why Give Him the Keys to the Kingdom Too Soon?

I know you’ve heard the saying, why buy the cow when the milk is free? Well, that may sound old fashioned, but I like it; I think too many women are giving away one of their most treasured possessions too quickly.

Tell me, what’s the big hurry for giving it up right away? What ever happened to a couple dating and getting to know each other? What’s wrong with letting the relationship build and becoming friends first before they become lovers?

♥ If a woman gives in to a man too soon, he loses interest. ♥

Here’s the scene:

You go out, meet a man, and you have an enjoyable conversation. A few days later, you get together, have dinner, drinks, then go to a club where you dance and get to know each other better. The vibe is right and it feels good.

At the end of the evening, you are feeling oh-so ready and you know he wants it too so what do you do?

A. Go back to his/your place and jump each other’s bones.

B. Find the nearest dark alley and jump in the back seat of your car.

C. Kiss him goodnight (no tongue), thank him for a wonderful time, close the door, and go inside.

Now, I know you picked C, right?

Break it down…

Say you picked A... after knowing this man for a few hours you have a great date and go back to his/your place and have sex.

You are thinking to yourself, "Wow, this man is all about me and this is the start of a great relationship! He could be the one!"

The next day, you just know he is going to call and tell you how great last night was but guess what; the call doesn’t come. You wait, and wait, and wait… but no phone call, no nothing. (Remember, don’t you dare call that man!)

Hmm… what could have gone wrong?

Well, you gave it up too soon. There was no relationship or even friendship to build on. He lost respect for you (if he had any at all). He thought, "that was easy."

Now, there is an off chance he might call you back; but, baby, you are now only one thing to him… you are now his booty call.

It can only go downhill from here.

You blew it, so move on while you still (hopefully) have some dignity left.

B. Wow, this is almost as bad as A., but you risk getting picked up by the cops, and who needs Public Indecency and Solicitation/Prostitution on their record? Not very romantic for a first date.

C. Give him a chance to get to know you before you jump in the sack with a total stranger.

♥ Think about it: This is what a man whom you have only known a day or so is, to you, a total stranger. ♥

When you think about it that way, it sounds kinda creepy, doesn’t it?

You wouldn’t just go up to a random guy on the street and have sex with him, would you?

Well, what’s the difference if you have sex with a guy you just met and barely know?

There is no difference.

When you take things slow and give a man the opportunity to get to know you, learn to like you, find out what you are all about, build a friendship (the other F word you need to remember) with you… he forms a bond with you and an attachment you can feel secure with when you do become intimate, that he is not going to use you for one thing, he is not going to "wham bam thank you ma’am," and he will be more apt to not want to do anything to hurt you or to push you away.

Many woman are addicted to the way they feel for the few minutes a man is on top of them. For those few moments, they feel loved, they feel beautiful, and they want to feel that way about themselves out of bed too but they don’t and can only be validated by a man.

They are insecure and want to have that feeling of belonging to someone over and over again so they go out and find as many sex partners as they can.

Well, not only are they putting themselves at risk for a whole bevy of things, they are creating quite the reputation for themselves in the process.

With every sex act you perform with a random stranger (and that’s what they are) a little piece of your self-esteem and dignity go away.

♥ Every person he has had sex with… you are now having sex with them too. Think about it! ♥

No one is telling you to wait a year before doing it on a date, but you will know when the time is right, don’t force it, just let things come naturally. Enjoy each other for a while before taking it to the next level. If he has a problem with that, dump him. He’s not the right man for you.

What if things don’t work out and you DON’T make it into bed? Well, isn’t it better to find out BEFORE you gave it up then after?

No one ever died by not having sex and you won’t either. If you really can’t wait then go home, open your nightstand, and have at it… just don’t have at it with him too soon.

I know you are an adult and you may be thinking, so what’s the big deal? Who is she to tell me not to have sex with that hot guy? Why can’t I give it up right away when I go out with someone I really like?

Well, because you risk losing the opportunity to build something meaningful, something that could be long lasting in your life and isn’t that what you are looking for?

You want a friendship (the F word remember?) with a man before you become his lover.

Trust a man with your heart before you trust him with your body.

I’m telling you, when you have that trust and security with a man, it’s the greatest feeling in the world. ♥