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Why I Quit Online Dating and Why You Should Too

Cut the 'Red Thread' — My Personal Story of Why I Quit Online Dating and Why You Should as Well.

If you're like me, you are a socially awkward butterfly. I don't like talking to people very much, especially face-to-face, so I go far to avoid that interaction. I've always been more comfortable online and that is something that is very common today. We live in the digital world, why not date digitally?

There are hundreds of dating websites out there (Match, Christian dating websites, Jewish dating websites — I could literally go on forever), literally you could go out and search up literally any specific kind of dating site and you will find it.

Hundreds, possibly even hundreds of thousands, of people are part of these dating websites. However, some people, myself included, didn't use these websites to find relationships online. I am an avid gamer, as well as a forum junkie, so I'm sure you can imagine where I found my relationships online. I am going to recount my online dating history. I will not use any names or disclose personal information, so if one of my exes is reading this, you're safe, rest assured.

It all started with my first relationship online. I was extremely young and dumb. I hardly consider it a relationship, and I know he doesn't either, but it's a place to start. It was extremely childish and nothing notable really occurred. In the end it was a mutual break up. I ended up not getting into another relationship for a couple of years.

Fast forward a couple of years later. At this point in the narrative I'm about 16 years old. I met this guy on a game named Elsword. Let's just call him Fred to protect his identity. I was in a relationship with him for a good few months, spent 48+ hours on video calls with him, played many games with Fred, you know the bit. We told each other we loved each other all the time and I thought everything was going good. This was the first relationship I had that I was taking seriously. We were even going as far as to make plans for our future together. One day Fred tells me, "We need to talk." I, of course, ask what's up. He responds, "I've fallen out of love with you." This absolutely destroyed me. It took me months to get over him, while he almost immediately got into another relationship. 

Fast forward, once more, to last year. I got into a relationship with a long-time online best friend of mine. Let's call her Janet. I met Janet on a forum for a game (see the pattern?). I stayed in a relationship with her for months. Eventually we organized for her to come visit for the holidays. Everything was going well, I knew what I was looking for in a relationship and I truly believed I had found the one. The day comes and me and my friends pick her up. During the two weeks we had her here, I quickly realized this isn't what I was looking for. I ended up cutting it off with her. I didn't want to lead her on and plus I was starting to fall in love with one of my best friends from high school all over again.

Where am I going with this? I'm not saying you can't be happy with online relationships or you can't find one that works both online and in real life. I've witnessed relationships that started online work in real life. I'm not saying you can't make it work, but I'm just saying it's hard and you will get hurt a lot and might even give up on the idea of love (I've seen this happen in real life relationships too, so don't think I'm trying to say you won't get hurt outside of online relationships!).

My point is, yes, online dating CAN work, but the best way you can go is real life relationships. I'm currently in one with my best friend from high school that I mentioned earlier and I'm happier than anything with her. You will go through a lot of matches and swipe hundreds of times on your phone with online dating, but how can you TRULY know who this perfect lady or man is? What are they truly like? You'll never know if it's a "match" until you meet them in person. You'll never know if it'll work until you take the time and spend time with them in person...You see what I'm saying? Give "in real life" dating a chance. You may not find the one your first chance, but always remember there's plenty of fish in the sea.

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