Humans is powered by Vocal.
Vocal is a platform that provides storytelling tools and engaged communities for writers, musicians, filmmakers, podcasters, and other creators to get discovered and fund their creativity.
How does Vocal work?
Creators share their stories on Vocal’s communities. In return, creators earn money when they are tipped and when their stories are read.
How do I join Vocal?
Vocal welcomes creators of all shapes and sizes. Join for free and start creating.
To learn more about Vocal, visit our resources.Show less
So you've started dating someone new, and things are going great! Congratulations! Hold on, don't pop open that champagne prematurely. The beginning of a relationship is the perfect time to really get to know the other person. Before getting swept off your feet, make sure that you know what you're getting into. Translation: Don't ignore those red flags!
The dictionary defines a red flag as a warning signal. Akin to a red traffic light (urging you STOP!), a red flag when you're getting to know someone new should make you stop and pay attention. Those red flags that you ignore in the beginning are ultimately what will cause the relationship to end down the road. Save yourself the future heartbreak by NOT ignoring these warning signs. You can thank me later!
Keep in mind that not everyone you date is going to end up as your life partner. Never go into a date with your mind already made up. You should have NO expectations and remain detached. You don't have any idea who the other person is yet, and that takes time. I like to think of dating as trying on shoes: If they don't fit or are uncomfortable, you shouldn't buy them!
So what are you supposed to do when you notice those red flags? Keep reading...
1. Don't ignore them.
If you feel like something is "off" with the man you are dating, then you're probably right. Women have been blessed with heightened cognitive abilities, and you should use this to your advantage. Don't ignore what your intuition is telling you! Also, stop making excuses for his behavior. He's not that "busy" with work. Men will make the time for the things that are truly important to them.
2. Listen to your gut.
If you continue to ignore what your gut is telling you, the warning signals could show up in your body in the form of injury or disease. If you notice that your stomach feels a little queasy because something he's said doesn't add up, that's your gut talking to you. Don't ignore whatever your body is telling you, your health (and your heart) depends on it!
3. Be willing to walk away.
If you keep noticing those red flags (those things that you simply cannot put up with in a relationship), then you're going to have to be willing to walk away forever. Men only change what THEY want to. Ultimatums and temper tantrums never work, and will only make you look crazy.
1. It's the little things.
Warning signs that a relationship may not work out don't always have to be something major like infidelity. It's the little things that count too. For example, let's say you're on a date with an amazing, smart, and beautiful woman. You have to go and use the restroom and when you return you notice that she's ordered herself another drink but didn't order one for you. That's selfish and inconsiderate...why would you want to go out with her again?
2. Looks aren't everything.
Guys, we women are all very well aware that you've been rating us on a scale of 1 to 10. We haven't been living under a rock. But just because she's a "10" doesn't mean you should let certain things slide. Let's say she keeps making you wait and you're a stickler for being on time. I can promise you that there's another equally beautiful woman out there that is prompt (like you are) that would make a much better match for you. One more thing about beautiful women: They are human beings with feelings. Being beautiful does not make her immune to emotions. Don't keep dating her just because she's "hot". Using someone in this way is just bad karma.
3. No one is perfect.
Men, you're in the driver's seat here. You may already be aware that there are way more single ladies out there than there are single men. But keep in mind that no one is perfect, and finding a woman that you truly connect with and "gets" you is RARE. She's imperfect, but so are you! While I advocate not ignoring the red flags, on the flip side of the coin you shouldn't dismiss a woman just because she doesn't fit every one of your qualifications. If you're looking for perfect, you'll never find it. BUT, there is a woman that is "perfect" for you! Be honest with yourself about what you want from a woman, and what you can put up with. You don't want to let her be the one that got away!