Why Your Crush Is Not Replying Your Texts

I think we can all agree on this – waiting for a reply from your crush is undoubtedly one of the MOOOST excruciating things in life. EVER.

That constant fidgety urge to press your phone's home button to see if there is any notification on incoming texts, only to be met with the same disappointing blank home screen. Or other times when the phone actually lights up showing a text notification, your heart contracts a little and you subconsciously hold your breath for half a second, just to realize that it is yet another group chat text where your friends are just being stupid and annoying.

From the extensive, albeit limited, life experience of mine, here is a list of the possible reasons why he/she is just not replying your messages. For simplicity’s sake, we shall assume that it is a "he" in this case – but really, guys, why are you so bad at replying texts??

He just didn’t check his phone. For 6 hours straight.

Yes I know it is unbelievable that someone can do that in this era. I didn’t believe it too until my guy flat-mates moved in and I saw them actually go about watching TV/gaming/hanging out with their buddies for hours and hours without even caring where their phones are. Yes, such species actually exists.

He didn’t know what to reply. So he didn’t.

This is a tricky one. It depends a lot on the contents involved and the context. Generally, if a guy is interested in you, he will find something to reply you no matter what you sent him (Unless it is something insensitive or malicious then yes, he won’t be replying you. In fact, no one will). Alternatively, you can try ending with questions instead of statements but if all fails, my last resort is always some sort of random shocking revelations. Such as “Omg, I just accidentally stepped on a frog and killed it with my heels” (speaking from experience here). Not proud of it, but they seem to work.

He took so long to draft the reply that after so many hours, it just seemed too lame to send it. So he deleted the draft and just didn’t reply.

Sometimes guys want to impress you and want draft something meaningful yet casual yet easy for you to reply. Exactly just like you were doing. But sometimes they take so long that it becomes obvious of them making an actual effort. And as we all know, being the effortless one (seemingly at least) is the whole point in this game of love, but the moment people can see through your efforts to be effortless, you just come across as desperate and nothing about it is remotely cool. Really paradoxical I know, but such is the truth of life.

He is a true blue hardcore workaholic and genuinely doesn’t have the time to reply you (meaningfully).

There are people out there whose job just makes it impossible for them to have time for anything else. They hustle throughout the day, and barely leave the office before midnight. They are the ones whom you see grabbing lunch at a sandwich joint at 4 PM and still frantically checking emails when queuing for it. They literally have no time to reply you, as drafting a reply (let alone a proper and meaningful one if they actually want to impress you) is just too much when even toilet breaks are a luxury to them.

He is taking his time. On purpose.

This guy knows his game. He understands perfectly that a heart wants what it couldn’t get. He usually replies to you timely, but every single time when you bring up topics about you two, he goes silent.

He is not interested in you. Period.

It can be hurtful to acknowledge this. Signs of this are if his replies are outright patronizing (your usual lol, k, haha, yea, cool), never given you a proper/long reply and always takes days to reply you. Sometimes he becomes suddenly chatty and flirty at night but never initiates/continues the conversations with you in the day – that’s when you know you are nothing more but a booty call to him.

It takes time to understand why someone is not replying your texts. And the reasons might be a combination of the reasons or something much more complicated than the above. You might never know for sure, but in the meantime, I would advise leave it to your guts/technology – A.K.A stalking skills (that’s a topic for another day *wink*).