Why Your Husband Doesn't Do Things for You...

Let’s be serious for a moment. MEN DON’T, AND CAN’T, TAKE HINTS. They don’t understand insinuations, and they won’t do things just because you talk about them needing to be done. They will step over that mess, pile dishes by the sink, and continue to push down that overflowing trash can. They do not see things the same way that we do. They can step over the laundry, not worry about the dust in the house, and piss into a toilet that clearly needs to be cleaned. I’ve said it before, and I'll say it again—their brains just don’t work like ours. This brings me to why your husband doesn't help you, and you feel like he's not listening to you.

Your husband/BF/fiancé—whatever—doesn't hear your hints or passing remarks, and he won’t do things without being asked because men just don't pick up on things like that. They don't understand when you allude to or insinuate something. Men are very straightforward. You have to explicitly tell them—I need you to do this, or please make this happen. And I think it would save so many arguments and fights in relationships if women would just be more direct about what they want and what they mean. If you want your man to cook dinner one night a week, you have to ask him to. He’s not just going to magically make you dinner one night (if he doesn’t already like to cook). If you want to split the laundry responsibilities, you have to explicitly tell him you want this. He won't magically do half the laundry all the time.

Men will not do things spontaneously, and this should go without saying—but I’m not talking about all men. I’m talking about the typical man. If you want something to happen around your house, or if you want the division of chores to be a certain way, you have to speak up. Men are not mind readers. They definitely don’t pretend to be, and they certainly aren’t going to try. Say what you mean—all of the time.

After living together for about a year, I asked my husband (then fiancé) if it would save me a lot of frustration and annoyance if I just flat out told him what I needed him to do around the house. Of course his answer was yes. It was like a light bulb went off over my head. You mean, all I need to do to get what I need is say it? Now, I’ve never been one to mince words, but I realized that I was talking to him about stuff and mentioning things that needed to get done, I was hoping that he would do these things, and in my mind, I was like, maybe if I mention it, he will do it. Nope. That’s just not how it works. You have to tell them straight out. No beating around the bush, or dropping hints.

I feel like this is something that I shouldn’t have to tell people, but it seems like a lot of women sit around wishing and hoping that their husbands will help clean the house or do something with the kids. Tell him what you want and need! It is only going to make everyone’s lives better. You want him to take the kids to the park so you can get a break? Ask him to take the kids to the park. Don’t spend another second of your life wondering why your husband doesn’t do things for you. Speak up.

And if you feel like you are asking, and not getting what you want, then try saying it in a different way. Sometimes, to get your point across, you may have to repeat yourself, or literally use different words. But the basis of ANY good and lasting relationship is communication, so open your mouth and speak up! The happiness of your relationship depends on it.