Willing

The empty parking lot was filled with hushed footsteps that echoed through the still air. The night was brisk, though the tall blonde boy was used to the weather in London. Adrian was trembling with fear as he approached his vehicle. That familiar terror of the repeating past was overwhelming him, and his breath hitched with every inhale.

Dark, mismatched eyes were glued to the figure. Jasper was eyeing Adrian from the corner of a nearby building. The two have been friends for as long as he can remember. Jasper was younger than Adrian, but Jasper was remotely taller. Jasper had never worried about Adrian lying to him, but lately he was acting strange. He had been leaving town without warning, and when he came back, Adrian didn’t tell Jasper where he had gone to. Once, when Adrian returned, Jasper swore he saw marks on his shoulder and legs. He didn’t know exactly what they were or where they came from, but he was beginning to realize something that gave him shivers just thinking about it.

“Adrian,” Jasper raised his voice, breaking the suffocating silence.

The blonde froze, startled from the voice, and spun around on his heel. When he spotted Jasper, his piercing blue eyes glistened.

“J-Jasper...” Adrian stammered. He showed every sign of nervousness as his fingers snaked together, fumbling with one another. Jasper crossed his arms and frowned as he walked closer to him.

“Where are you going? You’ve been leaving without telling me and coming back with bruises. What’s going on?” Jasper questioned. Adrian shook where he stood and averted his eyes.

“It’s nothing, I just go out walking. I just fell down and scraped up my back.” Jasper raised an eyebrow at Adrian.

“At night?” Adrian shuttered and shook his head.

“I don’t know…”

“I’m worried, Adrian. Tell me.” Jasper’s voice was stern. Adrian sighed.

“I’ve been… going to my stepfather, Caldwell’s place.” Adrian’s birth parents were divorced. Adrian wasn’t sure where his real father was, but he didn’t think about it. His mother was in America for a business trip, leaving him and his stepfather in London.

Jasper took a few steps closer to the blonde and leaned towards him.

“Does he…?” Adrian waved his hands in front of him as if to try to discard the thought.

“I’m fine. It’s not bad or anything...”

“Why do you keep going back there?”

“You don’t understand...”

“You can’t keep going back,” Jasper’s hands clenched into fists at his sides, “Tell me why...”

“For my brother! I need…” Adrian trailed off with a sigh and stared at the ground. Jasper took a deep breath. He understood the situation, but he still didn’t want his friend to be in any danger.

“I won’t let you go back. You can’t get hurt like this...”

“If I don’t, he will hurt Baxter!” The younger boy sighed and remembered Adrian’s brother, Baxter, the little boy with autumn hair and bright eyes that were always full of excitement. The boy was with his aunt because Adrian had sent him there for his safety.

“Then I’ll come with you.”

“You can’t, Jasper. I won’t put you in danger.”

“No, I’m going...”

“Don’t, Jasper! You’ll get hurt as well! I need to get to my dad’s...”

“Adrian!”

Adrian sighed and ran a hand through his blonde hair. He looked towards his car then back at Jasper. Adrian started heading towards his car when he stopped. He turned around and stared at Jasper with sorry eyes before he ran at him and threw his arms around his smaller frame.

“Jasper, it’s OK. Please, believe me. I’ve been there before.” Adrian pulled away with a forced smile, “Trust me, OK? You don’t need to worry. I can take care of myself.” Jasper sighed and stared at Adrian’s chest because he didn’t want to look directly at him.

“But… you… I don’t…” Jasper couldn’t find the right words and gripped on Adrian’s sleeve. Adrian leaned towards the smaller boy with another comforting smile.

“It’s OK.” Adrian reached and took Jasper’s left hand. He flipped it over so the top of his hand was facing up. Adrian tapped two fingers on it in a certain pattern. Left, right, up, right, down, right, down, left. Jasper had never seen Adrian do this to him before, but he knew why he did it. It was like a secret code for Adrian that he used to tell the other person that he meant a lot to him and as a way of comfort. Adrian had told him that a while ago, but Jasper thought he was being sarcastic.

Adrian let go of his hand and embraced him once more before pulling away and walking towards his black car. Jasper watched him walk away from him in silence. He didn’t know what to say.

The blonde got into his car, turning on the engine. Jasper watched as the ebony vehicle disappeared into the distance. As he thought about it, Jasper began to regret not stopping him. Terrible ideas and thoughts drifted through his mind as he imagined what could happen in the near future. Panic began to overwhelm him. He felt like he needed to help Adrian, even if he said he didn’t want him to. Jasper raced towards where his own car was parked, on the other side of the building. He couldn’t let Adrian get hurt like this. Who knows what could happen to him?

Jasper didn’t bother to adjust his dark-colored locks when he got into the car, which were ruffled and unorganized from the wind.

“His father’s…” Jasper drove out onto the isolated road. He knew where Adrian’s stepfather’s house was located, so that wasn’t a problem. Adrian didn’t live with his stepfather, though he did live in an apartment building nearby.

Jasper was angry and nervous at the same time. He didn’t figure out what he was going to do when he got there. Adrian’s stepfather, Caldwell, might overpower him, but he couldn’t just sit there while his friend was in grave danger.

Jasper’s hands trembled on the steering wheel, making it difficult to drive straight. He and Adrian have been through nearly everything together. He had helped Jasper through the death of his parents, when he needed him most. There was no way Jasper could lose him now.

Jasper was even more frightened by the fact that Adrian’s father used to be an explosive technician in the army. Who knows what he could do if he got too angry? Jasper tried not to think about it, but the thought still lingered in his mind.

Jasper finally arrived at the house. The only light on was in the garage. Even though he was shaking with fear, Jasper stepped towards the house.

Jasper didn’t bother to knock and ran through the door, his eyes frantically looking around. He didn’t see Adrian or his stepfather anywhere.

The basement?

Jasper raced towards the garage where he guessed the entrance to the cellar was. The door was made of heavy metal and the handle was melded with thick metal as well. He couldn’t hear anything coming from inside. The door was too congested.

With a firm hand, Jasper unlatched the handle and pushed the heavy door open a little bit. Instead of the expected stairs, there was another room with bulky walls that seemed to be made out of the same material as the door. The floor was solid concrete and there were no windows or other doors. Inside the room were different tools on the walls, such as screwdrivers and wood-cutting saws. To the left was a massive safe with a sign that read “Dangerous—Do Not Touch.” Besides the safe, it was a normal space.

Except for the two men in the corner.

Adrian was a few yards from his stepfather, who was unsteady on his feet.

“Dad, have you been drinking?”

“Go over there,” Adrian’s stepfather lazily motioned him to another part of the room with his hand. Adrian stiffened but did as he asked. None of them seemed to notice Jasper, who was frozen in his tracks. He knew he needed to do something quick, but even though he told himself to move, his limbs refused to.

Adrian stood where he was as his stepfather came over to stare at him as if to examine every inch of his body. You'd think he'd look perverted, but his expression only hinted at irritation. After a moment Caldwell brought up a hand to hit Adrian on his cheek. A red mark began to form, but Adrian didn’t move.

Jasper made a low sound of anger as the striking continued. Adrian made small muffled noises, but never tried to stop his stepfather. Jasper couldn’t stand it any longer and shoved the door as hard as he could, making a loud entrance. Both of the men snapped their heads toward him. Adrian looked horrified and Caldwell looked even more furious than before.

“Jasper, get...”

“Adrian!” Jasper ran towards him and tried to take Caldwell's hands away. Caldwell pulled his arms away and stared at the boy. Jasper’s heart was pounding but he stayed firm.

Caldwell reached his hand up and gave a hard blow to Jasper’s jaw. He cried out in pain and fell to the ground, holding his mouth. Adrian only stared for a second before taking a swing at his father.

“Don’t you dare do that to...” Adrian was pushed roughly into the glass table behind him, causing it to break. He fell to the floor, surrounded by glass shards. Jasper forgot about the pain in his jaw and lurched at Adrian’s stepfather. Caldwell shoved his elbow into Jasper’s stomach. He tried to yell, but no sound came out.

As Caldwell was about to strike Jasper again, Adrian pushed him into a shelf, the bottles and boxes falling over him. Jasper stammered to his feet and reached for Adrian.

“Adri…”

“Get out of here, you’re...” A brick was thrown at him from across the room, making a bizarre cracking sound. Adrian hissed at the growing pain in his skull as his body stumbled to the floor. Jasper nearly cried out in disapproval as he bent down over him. There was no time to do anything before Caldwell shoved him away with ample force. Jasper’s frail body was flung across the concrete into a few knocked over chairs. His back was dug into a broken table leg, the pain nearly unbearable as another gruesome sound filled the room. Jasper struggled to breathe, his vision becoming blurry and dark. He could barely make out the towering figure that loomed over him, a right arm outstretched sideways.

“Nn…” All Jasper could make out was a small noise as he tried to stand, reaching for any sort of surface to hold onto. The room never seemed to be completely still; there were no breaks in between strikes.

Adrian was searching for anything to be of use on the floor. His stepfather wasn’t paying attention to him at the moment. Though the pain was excruciating, he still didn’t give up on defending himself and his friend.

Adrian picked up a nearby wrench and chucked it at his stepfather as hard as he could, though it only hit his shoulder. Caldwell whirled around with an unreadable expression. A large grin spread across his face and his cloudy eyes showed nearly no emotion.

Instead of running at Adrian, his stepfather walked to the other side of the room, opened the safe labeled “Dangerous—Do Not Touch,” and pulled out something hidden under a white cloth. He turned around, smiling at the mysterious object, and placed it on the table. Not one of the boys dared to move, afraid of what Caldwell had.

The white cloth was pulled off, revealing a time bomb. The digital clock read 01:00 in big red numbers. Jasper tried to swallow the lump in his throat as Caldwell reached towards it.

The silence was suffocating as Caldwell slowly examined it, making both Adrian and Jasper’s hearts race. As soon as Caldwell clicked a button, it began ticking. The clicking came with each suspenseful passing second. Adrian reacted fast whereas Jasper couldn’t even move. Adrian grabbed Jasper’s wrist and pulled him towards the door. Adrian reached for the handle when his body was forced to the floor by his stepfather's arm. He didn’t let go of Jasper’s wrist, so he stumbled down as well. Caldwell grabbed Adrian and pushed him away towards the wall. Adrian made a low growl as he tried to free himself from his stepfather’s grip.

“Get off me!” Adrian shoved Caldwell away, pushing him into a cabinet. Tools were scattered about, the clinking noises causing their ears to ache.

Jasper felt drowsy; his head was spinning and pounding. The ticking of the clock seemed to be louder than anything else in the room. He strained his eyes to read the number. 00:34. Everything was happening so fast; it was hard to acknowledge what exactly was going on.

Jasper’s mind was snapped back to reality as Adrian called to him. Caldwell was already back on Adrian, desperately swinging at him.

“Jasper! Get out of here! You need to leave...”

“I’m not leaving you here!”

Tick, tick, tick…

“You have to! Just go!”

Tick, tick…

“No! I can’t...”

“Jasper!”

Adrian flung his stepfather off of him and raced towards Jasper and shoved him through the door. Jasper struggled to get out of his grip, but Adrian was stronger than he. Jasper was pushed through the doorway and into the hallway.

Time seemed to freeze. Everything seemed to halt its movement. Jasper stared at Adrian, and he stared back. With one last glance, Adrian slammed the heavy door shut and locked it with the large blocker on the other side. Jasper banged on the door, his hands turning a light red.

“Adrian! Adrian! You can’t stay in there! You’ll...”

BOOM

The door shuttered and the ground vibrated. Jasper jumped back in surprise. The other room went silent in seconds. Jasper was frozen in place, his hand hovering above the door. His heart was beating so fast he thought it was going to burst out of his chest. For a few moments he just stood there, his heavy breathing and thumping heart the only sounds in the silent space.

Jasper finally took control of his body and pushed the door slightly. The large blocker must have fallen off because it opened easily, and Jasper somehow wished it was still locked, though part of him needed to see what was in the other room.

The door opened slowly with a low creak and for a second Jasper couldn’t see anything. He stared into nothing until he brought up the courage to take in his surroundings.

Jasper nearly fell to the ground.

On the floor, about ten feet away, was Adrian, lying on the floor. He wasn’t moving and from what Jasper could make out he wasn’t breathing, either. The room was trashed like a robbery had taken place and the foul details made the boy sick to the stomach; he felt like he was going to vomit. His heart definitely seemed to stop this time, and his chest hurt because it was so hard to breathe.

Jasper was once again frozen in place, staring at his motionless friend. For a moment, everything was a blur and it didn’t seem real. Nothing felt real. Jasper actually began to question whether he was dreaming or not. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case.

With shaking legs, Jasper took a slow step forward before running at full speed towards Adrian. Without any caution, he fell to his knees beside his friend and lifted his upper body towards him. Despite the gruesome features, Jasper turned Adrian's head and leaned down over his parted mouth to listen for his breathing. With a whimper, Jasper pulled back slightly as tears filled his eyes. Adrian wasn't breathing. All of Jasper's strength was gone and his arms were trembling.

“This can’t be real… No, it can’t!” Jasper began shaking Adrian as if that would bring him back. He had been curious about what it felt like to lose a friend or loved one, but now that it was actually happening, he didn’t know how to react. His father had always told him what to do, who to call, and where to go if it did happen. Though, that advice didn’t appear to Jasper at that moment.

There were too many emotions running wild inside of Jasper. He was angry, but the anger wasn’t directed at Adrian or his stepfather. It was directed at himself. For some reason, Jasper felt that all that had happened was somehow his fault, that he could have done something to prevent it.

Jasper broke out in sobs and held Adrian’s body closer to his as some sort of comfort, though it didn’t help at all. All of the memories he had shared with Adrian were floating back into his mind like a visual scrapbook. Jasper felt like he was the most helpless person in the world. There was nothing he could do to bring his friend back to life, although he kept trying to think of a way to.

Jasper’s cheeks were wet with salty tears which fell to the floor. He was an emotional wreck, the pain worse than anything else he could imagine. He felt like he was closer to Adrian than any of his family members. Adrian thought the same thing. He had told Jasper they would travel around the world together and become famous authors when they grew up. They had it planned out; Jasper would be the writer and Adrian would be the illustrator. It seemed he had a special talent for that. Both of the boys were more independent and isolated, especially Jasper, though Adrian was very charismatic underneath.

Jasper kept mumbling to himself over and over. He would wail until his throat hurt and he couldn’t speak anymore. His eyes were sore and his head was throbbing. It was hard to look directly at Adrian; it made him cry even more.

The tears began to cease and the crying began to slow down. Jasper’s breathing, which was in small bursts, was turning back to normal. The room fell silent again as the sorrowful noises stopped coming from Jasper. He held Adrian’s body in an embrace, as if to seal their memories and their connections. After a few minutes of just sitting there, taking this all in, Jasper stood up and plodded towards the door. He stepped through the doorway and turned around to take one more look at Adrian.

That moment seemed to last forever. Every second lasted a minute, and every minute lasted an hour. It nearly made him sick to see his usual hyper and restless friend become so still. It felt almost unnatural for him to be this inactive. Jasper stared at the still body, remembering every detail, like taking note, because he knew he wouldn’t see him again.

The only thing to do then was to contact the police. Jasper had no interest in speaking to anybody, his energy was drained from his body and his mind was tired. He began to feel waves of pain which he had forgotten about after seeing Adrian. The pain was making him even more weak. He hissed at the feeling and had to stop to take a breath.

It only took a minute for Jasper to find the house phone. With a trembling hand, he grabbed the device off of the wall and pressed the unfamiliar buttons he never had to press before.

The phone rang for a short moment before a feminine voice came through.

“9-1-1, what is your emergency?”

“My friend is dead. I need help quickly, I…” Jasper’s voice croaked into the phone.

“OK, I’ll send help. What is your address?” Jasper thought for a moment before he told the lady his location. She told him to wait a moment and asked if Jasper wanted her to stay on the line with him, though he denied the offer.

The call ended and it didn’t take long before Jasper heard sirens sounding from the distance. Jasper stumbled towards the door to greet them. He reached for the door but it flung open before he could grasp the handle. Two men stood in the doorway with a group behind them. They stared at the boy suspiciously before asking him where his friend was.

“Where is this friend of yours?” Jasper motioned them to follow him and walked back to the room where the events took place. He stopped in front of the door and stepped aside.

“In there.” The police nodded and walked through the door. Jasper looked away because he didn’t want to see that place again. He couldn’t stomach the look or the foul smell.

Paramedics soon rushed pass Jasper who awkwardly stood there, waiting for one of the officers to question him.

The yells and commands were distant from Jasper’s mind. He paid almost no attention to what the people were doing. He didn’t want to. A feeling of drowsiness was washing over him yet again and he struggled to stand. His legs gave out and he slid to the floor in a heap on the ground. Jasper pulled his knees up to his chest and crossed his arms over them to rest his head.

A few minutes passed before an officer came over to examine him. Jasper was sitting there like he had no soul. He wasn’t sobbing and trembling anymore. He stared at the ground and even barely noticed the officer.

“What happened?”

Jasper told him the story and the officer believed it. The story details fitted the features in the room and on Jasper’s body. The policeman decided not to question Jasper any further considering the state he was in.

The officer had taken Jasper home after it was announced nothing could be done about Adrian. Jasper wasn’t surprised because he had already known there was no way of bringing him back, no matter how much he wanted that to be true.

That night, Jasper told Adrian’s immediate family and his friends. They all had either broken out into tears or went silent. It was hard for Jasper to tell them the news, but it was for himself as well to accept what had happened.

Jasper’s grandparents said they would hold a funeral and make arrangements. Jasper agreed and went into his room and laid down on his bed in the darkness, the only light being the illuminating moon. The soft sound of the wind whistled against the window, and soon raindrops fell from the sky. It seemed to match Jasper’s mood at the moment, and he thought of the thunderstorm as comforting.

Jasper stared out the window, the trees dancing like shadows in the dark. Clouds slowly moved over the moon and past, changing the lighting every so often. Jasper raised his left hand in the air and left it there for a moment before moving his fingers in a familiar pattern.

Left, right, up, right, down, right, down, left.