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Winter Love

A Secret Love Story

By Gigi MPublished 5 years ago 3 min read
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02/02/18

Before I found you, I was lost. Not the, I need my GPS lost. I was spiritually and mentally lost. I didn’t know what I was looking for my life until I met you. As cheesy as it sounds, finding you was the best thing that ever happened to me. I didn't know what to do in my life. I loved a girl before but not as much as I loved you.

The sad part? You didn't know and you will never know. It will hurt me less if you don't. Only one person knows that you're the one I loved most.

We started to talk as friends in November 2017. At the the time, I was talking to boy who I thought I was in "love" with, but in reality we were both the incorrect puzzle piece that wanted to fit but couldn't no matter how hard we tried. Once the boy and I realized, I cried. I don't know why, but I just did. I cried for a week. Why was I crying is still the reason why I asked myself to this very day.

The whole entire week when I cried. You were there, even though you were miles away. You were there. I told you how I felt weak in this world. That nobody will love me because I'm me. How someone won't love my corny jokes, or help me go through my meltdowns I randomly have. At three am, you were the only one who replied back to my texts. I just wanted to have someone to talk to replace my loneliness. You just wanted someone to fix your heart and get it broken all over again.

Halfway through December, I knew I was falling for you. I panicked. You would flirt with me in so many ways. We talked to our friend about each other that She was even convinced we were dating. Your birthday was coming up soon. I was already making a long and meaningful paragraphs. I was saying how much you changed my life. I was happier with you and how I'm really falling for you. I usually don't fall quick, but there was something about you. Was it your laugh? Was it the videos you sent me of dancing to some random song you found funny? Whatever it was, it got me. It got me good that I try to look for someone like you, but you really are a special one I can not replace.

A week before your birthday, you stopped talking to me. You stopped texting me. You stopped everything, but yet still like my pictures on Instagram. Why? Why did you stopped everything? Did I do something wrong? What did I do wrong? I'm so sorry if I ever did. I never intended to. That long meaningful paragraph turned into a sentence. "Happy Birthday!" The "I love you" turned to "I miss you." The "Please be mine" turned into "You're such a good friend." Our texts to each other finally came to the halt. The thing I feared most. I was sure we were meant to be, but you had other plans. I didn't realize it until you pointed it out. I fixed you with the cuts in my hand and empty rolls of tape on the floor. I fixed you, but not once did you asked if you ever fixed me.

Close to a year, we often so still direct message each other claiming we lost each other number, but switch the topic before we could give it again. Instead of the long paragraphs it was mostly like "How are you? Are you doing okay?" with a quick discussion on how good we are. I seen before that you're not. Parts of me wants to fix you again and reopened the wounds you once gave me. The other parts decided that the only person who could fix you is you.

breakups
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About the Creator

Gigi M

A 22 year old girl who’s trying to have her words out in the world.

Instagram: @giselle_melchor

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