Worst Boyfriend

Sophomore year of high school, I met a new guy. He just started that year, but was a senior. He was tall, handsome, and had an amazing personality. I was 16 at the time and he was 19. Why does that matter? I don't know, just felt I should explain that. He wanted help finding the front office because he forgot how to get there, so I agreed to take him there since it was on the way to my first class. We talked and got to know each other. Of course I was shy and, luckily, he was outgoing and nice. He made me feel comfortable, so it made it, somehow, easier to talk to him. We clicked instantly. By the final week of the first semester, he asked me out on a date. I was happy he asked, but the voice in my head said "it might be a joke, say no," but I had a crush on him, so I said I would think about it. I was nervous about asking my mom to go on this date, considering what happened the year before when she found out I was dating a 19-year-old (We broke up about two months of dating). She threatened to report her if I didn't dump her. She understood and stayed friends. Eventually, I asked my mom about the date, but lied about his age a bit. She said it was okay. We dated for a week until halfway through the first week of winter break, when his ex claimed she was pregnant with his child. See, that right there should have been a red flag, and you'll understand later on. It hurt, yes, but we agreed to stay friends. About a month after our breakup, he broke it off with the other girl because, apparently, she lied about the pregnancy. So, we got back together for another two months before I found out he cheated on me. Being naïve and scared of looking like a loser, for a week before the breakup, I lied to everyone, saying that it was okay, that he wasn't cheating. I have no doubt people knew I was in denial. So eventually, I got into an argument with him and we broke up for the second time. My low self-esteem got even lower, but of course, I'm a dumbass who still loved him. I forgave him, but I didn't trust him. He understood that and we got back together.

Boy was I stupid, because he cheated again and immediately, life got even worse for me after that. My depression got worse, my diet shifted—not to where I was anorexic or bulimic, but I would go days without eating. I just stopped being hungry out of nowhere. My mom noticed that immediately because of how often I would skip dinner.

He graduated in February of 2016, almost immediately after the breakup. Soon after, he was arrested after it allegedly came out about his (possible) pedophilia, but those were just rumors. The reason he was arrested—and this is what he explained to me when he tried hitting me up on Facebook in January of last year—he fell into the wrong crowd. Gang related, if I remember correctly. But it was too bad since he was in jail for a couple of months.

We did talk that over in a phone call on messenger. I haven't spoken to him since then, when I told him I wanted nothing to do with him.

I would show the last message I sent to him, but I never thought I would have told this.

One a lighter note, my self-esteem has improved and I am much happier and more confident in being myself. I have people who supported me and I have a special someone in my life who truly cares about me and always brings a smile to my face, no matter what.