You Might Be a Bad Friend If...

Sometimes as we grow older, our friendships fade or change. I've been best friends with the same person for 18 years and lately... I'm not so sure she is still deserving of that title.

Here are some signs that that friend is a bad one:

1. They project their own negative qualities on you.

For example, my friend would get mad at me because I'm not able to hang out with her like I used to, so she blames my boyfriend for "controlling" me because that's what her husband does to her.

I have a job, am broke all the time, and yes my boyfriend is a main reason because we both work different shifts and we never get to see each other. So, because I love this man and want to have a future with him, I spend every chance I can get with him.

2. They start criticizing and blaming you for everything.

Again, I am blamed for the fact that my friend and I never talk or never hang out. She lives in a different town that's about an hour away. She is always telling me that I need to come to her to hang out because she can never come to my town. Even though, she comes here all the time without telling me, so she can do some shopping.

3. They only talk to you when they need something.

Recently, my friend started texting me because she had some SERIOUS drama that she needed advice on. She kept demanding for my advice. When in reality, I have never done what she's done so therefore, I have no real advice. Also, when I used to work in a salon, she would always be asking me to do her and her kids hair...for free.

4. They evade all responsibility and leave you to handle it all.

I don't have an exact example of this, but in a similar form–every time I do go over to her house, I always ask her why all her lights are so caked on with dust and she says that that's her husbands job but he never does it. Even though, in that very moment, she is sitting at her kitchen table on her phone...doing nothing. For all the times she sits and does nothing, she could be cleaning those lights.

5. They never think about how you feel.

Every time my friend texts me, she goes straight into all her drama about herself and her stresses. Not once has she even asked me how I'm doing. Whenever I am able to tell her how I'm doing, (without her even asking, of course) she changes the subject to be about her and all her problems again.

6. They always have the need to "one-up" you.

Again, whenever I talk to her about myself and my life, she twists it around and makes it about herself and makes the story worse than it is, so that I can know that her life is way more difficult than mine.

7. They don't listen to what you have to say.

When talking with my friend in person, every time I am speaking she always interrupts me (huge pet peeve, by the way) and makes it all about herself. Also, whenever I do give her advice when she asks for it, she NEVER listens and goes about her miserable life without solving any of her problems.

8. They never stick to their word.

My friend always claims that she will let me know when she can come to town and we will plan to do something. I don't know how many times she has been here and never told me.

How do I fix this with my best friend?

Well, after a while, I get really tired of hearing the same drama and her continuously being mad at me for never making plans to hang out with her. So, whenever she complains, I remind her that it works both ways and I'm tired of being the one to always go to her town and make the plans and make an actually effort to do something. I cannot live a life with this childish drama and constant blaming. I shouldn't have to be the only friend that is actually doing something to continue the friendship. So...I don't anymore. I don't make any effort anymore and I haven't heard from her in months. Deep inside, she still drives me crazy and she doesn't even have to say anything. She has created so much pent up anger for me. That friendship, that used to be strong, is now toxic. So, it is best to distance yourself from the toxicity.