You're Worth More

Perhaps we are fools.

Maybe you married a workaholic man, perhaps even a currently crazy woman; nevertheless, others may label you a fool but to you, that's love.

Yet, for others, the relationship is a simple sandcastle they can simply crush underneath their stone hard feet; yet you, you truly left a mark upon the castle in ruins within my heart.

I remember how we were, young, bipolar, obvious and yet, I remained the pursuer for your empty affections.

I was a mere 16 year old, just like any other, whom fell prey to the beginnings of butterflies, increased heart beats, mental confusion and physically heated desires.

When he looked your way, how did you feel?

A spark or two could jolted through my heart yet you could not reciprocate the same spark.

The mask upon your face was rather well done; fooled me until the end.

At times, when you are blinded by the feeling that you think is love, you do not realize, or rather overlook, the strange and un-natural behavior of the other, given less than a week.

It began with sitting on a comfortable lap, your dis-interest to hold hands didn't seem to faze me, every blue moon was a gift for a naive new girlfriend such as I.

The back and forth messages started to fade little by little, more of a paragraph in exchange for a one word to one sentence response hours later; its fine, he's busy or has something else to do.

No response, No apology, Nothing.

Strange demands to go over to his home being together for such a little amount of time; skipping all the mental steps of dating that you tend to find in a dating magazine.

What was it again? Come over to the home, introduce yourself to the parents, gain the families interest, trust & approval?

I guess not.

However to some, Sex is the main key of importance in the relationship. Normally you want the experience to be special & to be enjoyable with the one you love; my love was taken to only fulfill the pleasure of a one sided romance of a one night stand. The irony of my decision to this day still remains a topic of humor to myself.

At the end of it all, what did I receive?

Nothing.

All that time,

All that effort,

All those tears,

All those sleepless nights,

All these memories,

All these lessons.

I failed to heed the warning signs. Failed to listen to my mind, Failed to speak out in displaying what was wrong.

Yet learned, that I had forgotten my self worth.

Do not forget who you are and what you stand for. Do not let a ghost lead you astray from your own judgement to the grave of your own value.

Know that you are beautiful the way you are, know that you are unique human being that should not change themselves to appeal to a summertime fling. Know that you deserve better and that you are worth more than you think. Know that you are not to blame when all you did was pour honest feelings and effort every day into making the days worth while.

Know that you are a diamond that should not be cracked by a rock.