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Young Love

Taking Advice from a Teen

There seems to be a stigma about people, teenagers specifically, falling love. Why is that? As a teenager myself, I never had the time to date, and now as I sit in my dorm room as a college freshman, I can guarantee that I probably won't have time to find a serious relationship this year either. Unlike me, who would rather be in my dorm all the time working on school work, reading, writing, or even binge watching anything on Netflix, a lot of college freshmen are in serious relationships. So many times have teenagers had to listen to adults tell us to slow down, that we are too young to be in a serious relationship, that we are just signing up to get our hearts broken. I just want to scream every time I hear that; isn't that the point of being with someone? Taking things too fast, falling in love too fast, and breaking up too fast. How else are teenagers supposed to grow up and move on if we don't experience our first heartbreak? Teens understand that parents want to protect us from all the evil in the world, but we need to make mistakes and have our hearts be broken over and over again, and this is something that parents shouldn't and can't protect us from forever. 

So teens fall in love every day, we get our hearts broken every day, and we survive every day. I think that is something that is totally normal; especially with my generation. I know that many people just say us young people don't ever want to work anything out and just give up at the first sign that something isn't working as well as we would like, including our relationships. Because I know that this is true for so many teens all around the world, why would adults want to tear down the relationships that teens are actively trying to make work? Why make teens feel like they shouldn't try to make these very important steps to growing up not work? We are human beings, we need close personal relationships to function. It's completely normal and natural for us to get attached to others. Why else would we have this chemical inside us that makes us crave close encounters with other human beings, whether that be a romantic relationship or completely platonic? After all, every one fantasizes about the 'American dream', whether it's the stereotypical white picket fence, two kids, loving husband, and of course, the family dog; or it's something completely different like living in an apartment with your significant other and never having kids. Both of those dreams involve close relationships. Sure, my generation has a habit of running into things head first, like marriage, and then we regret it later. But that's life isn't it? For a lot of kids my generation, they would rather run head first into something and have a great time for a short time than sitting around home wondering about all the 'what ifs.' While I know what I'm writing doesn't have any scientific fact, it does have my opinion, which I can tell you a lot of kids my age have the same thoughts. 

I'm not writing this to tell every adult who's worried that their kid is making all the wrong choices that they are wrong, but I'm urging everyone to think twice about what you say to my generation and younger. We are pretty impressionistic and the things that our older generations tell us stick with us. I know it's hard to sit on the side lines and let all the things that you feared come true, but sometimes you have to. My little sister just turned fifteen and I'm terrified of what the world will do to her. I have two nieces and one nephew and I'm scared that the world will not be kind to them. So many things could 'corrupt' them, but I can't really do anything about it. I have to sit on the sidelines and hope they make the right decisions when life throws punches at them, and when they don't, be there to comfort them. 

As I'm sure most of the adults out there reading this are rolling their eyes and thinking, 'what does this idiotic eighteen-year-old talking about? She doesn't even have kids!' And you are right, I have no facts to back this up, but I have the opinion of thousands of kids from my generation stuck in my brain. And yes, I may not have kids and I know I never will. Kids will never be apart of my life so all these stupid maternal instincts that rile up are forced onto my family. I've always been told that I had to grow up too fast. But I know that's not true. For a really long time, my life was hell. I was depressed and hated myself, and I couldn't stand living a second longer. I suffered in silence for a really long time, but because my mom had given me the space to become my own person and had given her the time to watch me grow up, she knew exactly when I needed help the most. How can you expect your child to ever ask for your help if you never let them go? So please, every parent out there, hear my message. I don't want you to completely ignore your kids, but I want you to give them room to grow, to fall in love, to stay in love. I know this has wandered all over the place, but please, hear me, and think about taking some of the advice I have left in here.