Young Marriage Today

Marrying my soul mate at 19.

Many people view young marriage as a dead end road. They see two young people, with their whole lives ahead of them, and think that by signing up to spend an eternity together they’re setting themselves up for failure.

One thing I’ve learned in life is that no matter what, you’ll have people judging the decisions you make. This is true even if the choices you’re making are personal ones that only affect you, or in marriage, you and your spouse.

I remember being an excited 18-year-old packing up all her childhood belongings and getting ready to move into her first apartment. This is a huge ordeal for anyone, and for me it was made even more exciting because I was moving in with the man I loved. We were so excited to experience all our firsts, together. Our first home, our first meals cooked with our own pots and pans, our first couch, our first pet, and don’t forget the fun we had picking out our first TV. We were young, in love, and on cloud nine.

Just as I remember the excitement, I remember the moment I first felt judged for this huge decision I had made. I was leaving church when a man I had viewed as a father figure had approached me, and spouted the words “So, I hear you’re shacking up?” Maybe he was making small talk, or maybe he just wanted me to be aware that he knew of my ‘sinful behavior’ made public by sharing a home with my boyfriend. Either way, his words cut deep and they have lived with me every day since I heard them.

In my mind moving in with this man before I committed the rest of my life to him was the best choice I could’ve made. I mean, I wanted to know for sure I could live with him before I signed up to do so forever. But, it was in that moment I felt so judged and looked down on. I knew it was a for sure fact that living with the man I loved was viewed as “wrong” due to the fact he wasn’t my husband. I lived with this fact until he proposed.

We moved in together August 1st, 2016, he asked me to be his wife November 11th of that year. Yet again here I was this young girl head over heals in love and had just agreed to spend forever with my high school sweetheart.

I couldn’t stop looking at my little diamond ring, or the face of the man I loved as we sat across from each other at that restaurant booth a few weeks after he asked to give me his last name. We were in deep conversation when a woman who we knew approached us. She asked about our recent proposal and was quick to exclaim “Wow, y’all are moving a little fast huh?” Three weeks, and here we were already being put down for our engagement. Forget the fact that we had spent the past few years together, but due to our age we were young and stupid for wanting to be married.

July 9th comes and the man of my dreams becomes my husband. Our day was filled with love, happy tears, and music. Finally, after dreaming of this moment for so long my love was now my husband. But, yet again within moments of our happiness someone was immediately sharing with us their opinion. This time, though, it was multiple people. "You're too young," "She must be pregnant," "They just don't know what they have gotten themselves into."

What is funny, is we knew exactly what we were getting our selves into. We knew that by sharing those vows, and stating 'I DO' we were declaring in front of God and all of those witnesses that we would spend every day of our lives together, loving each other always.

I just do not understand why people are so quick to criticize the amazing fact that there are people who want to spend forever together. Being young and choosing to do this, has offered us an even more amazing experience, we get to grow together. In the two years that my husband and I have been married we have grown and matured more than we ever have in our lives.

One day I hope to find that this sweet man and I are sitting on our porch swing watching our grandchildren play, and remember back to the days when some said we were young and dumb. Being dumb and in love, has been my favorite life experience...because I'm experiencing it with him.