You’ve Been Used

You just found out that someone you trust has been using you. This can be your family, a friend, significant other, or even a classmate, and you NEVER saw it coming. When you find out you’ve been used, your emotions will start pouring in. You’ll feel surprised, hurt, betrayed, and even angry. You’ll wonder why you didn’t see the signs earlier and why the person did it to you. Let’s talk about ways people can use you and how to avoid it.

1. Money- Money is one of the biggest things that people get used for. The person asks you if they can borrow money for food, gas, etc. They say they’ll pay you back and they never do. They know they can ask you because they know you’ll say yes. Learn how to say NO!! Even if it’s you're family, you don’t want to get used. If they blow up at you or make you feel bad about yourself, they’re most likely using you.

2. Transportation- Sometimes people don’t have reliable transportation to work, school, etc. Let’s say it’s your best friend. They have a job 15 minutes away from their house and they don’t live on a bus line. He/she asks you if you’d take them to work and they will give you gas money every week. You agree because they’re your best friend and they said they would give you some gas money, so you won’t be wasting gas. Weeks go by and you’ve been giving them a ride to work without getting any gas money. You ask and it’s always an excuse. Listen up!! Cars don’t run on water!! Tell them that either they help out with gas or they will not be getting rides from you. Now obviously this can go one or two ways. They actually give you some money for gas, or they get upset. Be strong, get it done.

Sex- Ok, so this one is probably the worst. You meet someone who makes you feel amazing. They’re funny, fun to be around, smart, and you have some chemistry. You decide you want to have sex with the person and everything seems great, until the next day. No call, no text, nada. A week goes by and you finally get a text from them. They want to meet up with you and tell you to look good. You’re so excited, you forget it’s been a week since they’ve messaged. You get ready, meet up with them, and you have sex again. The person only ever messages you when they want to hook up. You felt there was more than sexual attraction but you start to realize it was just a game to them. I’ll tell you something right now. This kind of stuff happens A LOT. It doesn’t matter if you’re a man, woman, transgender, etc. It happens, and it sucks. If you want to avoid that kind of situation, make sure you are always aware of how they act, talk, etc. Are they overly nice to you? This can be compliments on beauty, style, etc. If so, be careful!! Always make sure you pay attention to their stories, if and how they talk about their exes, and if they make you feel uneasy. Trust your gut. Block the person's number and move on.

Whatever it may be, getting used doesn’t have to break you. Learn from the experience, try and learn about yourself, and never accept someone who you know is using you. It will be hard, especially if it’s your family or a best friend. But no one deserves to be used. So end that crap, and end it NOW. You got this!!