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It doesn't matter if you're single, dating, or married, flirting is something that never gets old. It's an art form, an aphrodisiac, a dance between two people that communicates attraction and desire. Now, for single chicks, flirting is an essential part of your dating life. I mean, come on now, you're not picking a man up by sitting in a bar stool, looking at your phone with a MEH emoji expression on your face the whole night. Sure, there is always the creepy, desperate guy that will probably try boning the bar stool if you turn him down, but who wants that? In order to get noticed, you have to play the game. The looks, the body language, the witty conversation are all part of the line, sink, and hook mission.
Now, for my married ladies, you may thinking, "Flirting? Who the hell has time or desire to flirt with their husband? I mean, I already bagged him and reproduced. I would say mission complete," but I assure you, flirting with your partner is necessary for a long lasting happy marriage. It may not be the coy smiles and long stares or slowly picking up a fallen napkin, but there are plenty of other ways to keep things flirtatious and fun. Doing something as simple as sending a naughty text or giving his ass a sweet little squeeze is sure to get the message across that Mama is happy and Mama likes what she sees. You many not consider these exchanges as flirting anymore, but it most definitely is and I guarantee you he will like it!
Whatever the situation or scenario may be, remember this is supposed to be playful and exciting and while you can't really "flirt" incorrectly, you sure as hell can suck at it, even you already wedded women. So to help all my Misses and Mrs. out, here are are a few basic flirting rules every girl should know.
Get Caught Looking
How will he ever suspect you are interested if you look at everyone but him? Sure, ignoring and showing disinterest is sure to pop a few crotch-tents because some dudes just love a challenge, but if you are seriously trying to pick up a man, eye contact is essential. This shows that you not only like what you see but are confident enough to get caught looking. Just like women, men want to feel wanted, and what better way to show this than with an appreciative glance his way? Same goes for my committed ladies, take a good look at the man you married and let him know you like what you see!
Let Him Buy You a Drink
We get it, you're independent. You make your own money and rely on no one and while a man will eventually respect that, there is no reason to be a snob about it. What I'm saying is, if you’re single and a good looking guy is offering to buy you a bevy, just shut up and say thank you (just make sure to watch that drink get made or opened yourself). Damn, I sound like my mother. If, after that drink you still feel inclined to show him just how self-sufficient you are, return the favor and buy the next round. Now, not only are you flirting but you're being polite, too. If you're married, this one doesn't really apply, because chances are you're buying each other's drinks with each other's money. Next!
Women are always fishing for a compliment, and truth be told half the time we are given one it goes unnoticed. When it comes to initial flirting, don’t spend your entire meet and greet searching for praise; instead, throw some out there yourself. Be careful, though; there is such a thing as over-complimenting to the point where you look desperate. If he has nice tats, tell him so. If his eyes are a killer blue, let him know. Keep them minimal and not so sexual. If you find yourself on the shy side you can't go wrong with a simple, "Great watch, who makes it?" or "I like your taste in beer, Blue Moon is my fav, too," and whatever you do avoid anything too weird like, “I just love how your toes look in those man-sandals.” Ummm, yeah… NO! Now, for my couples, this is EXTREMELY important. Never stop paying attention and complimenting. I can't tell you how many times I hear married women cry over never being complimented anymore. Well, guess what, you get what you give. So instead of whining about it, do something. Tell your hubs just how handsome he looks while he coaches your kid's first-grade soccer team. Oh wait, that's just me, but you get what I'm saying. It could be while he is cleaning his car, brushing his teeth, or leaving for work, just take a moment to pause and praise. Hopefully, he will feel the love and return the gesture without having to tell him so.
Use Your Body
We have all seen this in the movies: the woman who bends over in slow motion to pick up something or the wacko who thinks it's a good idea to fondle a strange man's crotch with her bare foot. Yeah, this is NOT what I mean. What I do mean is use flirtatious body language. Expose your neck, touch your hair, push the girls up, and lean into him. Aim to look relaxed, confident, and sensual and not like an attention seeking ho-bag. While this may be harder for my parents in relationships, just try to use your body when you can. I get it, no busy mom thinks to flip her hair or lick her lips while she's cooking dinner for four, but that doesn't mean this advice is not for you. Cuddling closer on the couch while you watch your favorite show or flashing and asking if he likes your new bra are both powerful approaches to getting his attention.
Unless you’re talking to Christian Gray or Donald Trump himself, steer clear of the heavy talk and keep it light. Crack jokes, poke fun at each other, and definitely stay away from all religious and political convos. You are trying to obtain positive interest from this person, not lecture him with your beliefs. Even if you both are on the serious side, there is always room and appreciation for a woman with a sense of humor. This goes for my attached ladies too and is one of high importance. Marriage can get routine and routines can get boring, so make sure you keep him laughing and never lose the child that lives inside you. Woah, that was deep.
Get To Know Him
Don’t fake it by asking stupid questions, although "no question is stupid," said all of my teachers. Try showing some real genuine interest in whatever you find yourselves speaking about. Whether you are discussing sports, his family, or the freaking weather, use your time together to learn more about how HE FEELS. Listen to what he says rather than daydreaming about what his chest looks like under that tight t-shirt. To some men, nothing is sexier than easy conversation and curiosity. What about my peeps already in love? Well, a great way to keep things fresh is also by engaging in conversation regarding his hobbies and interests. Asking him about the new book he is reading or his new obsession with flying drones shows him that you still care about who he is as his own person, not just your husband or father of your children. Remember, he isn't the same man you met ten plus years ago, and it's never a bad idea to keep getting to know the man you live with. Stranger danger!
Ask For a Date
What better way to show you're intrigued than by suggesting to go on a date. Let’s be honest, some dudes are dumb and have no idea if a woman is flirting or simply being nice. By offering, “We should check out that new horror flick” after confirming you’re both gory movie buffs, you leave no room for Mr. Oblivious to miss the mark on how you’re feeling. Lastly, my greatest rule for couples is to always make alone time for the two of you and like most things on your calendar, you'll probably be the one to plan it. So ask that husband of yours if he would like to take your ass out to dinner and then maybe save dessert for the bedroom. Hubba hubba!