Cheat on Me Once, It's Over

I do not condone cheating in any way, but frankly I'm a bit confused as to why a lot of people do not forgive a person for cheating, just once. Look, it wasn’t right to cheat in the first place and I understand that. I have never been cheated on, or cheated on someone, I do not have an experience in this area, but it’s something that happens to a lot of people and is sadly a common topic. Because I do not know what it feels like to be cheated on or to cheat on someone, all I’m trying to do here is lay out a few things I've heard about cheating and to better understand this whole idea of cheating and what comes with it.

People can cheat unintentionally or intentionally. I believe unintentionally would be when you find yourself in a situation with someone else other than your partner, and you are generally driven by lust or the desires of the body. In that situation, you don’t think about the tomorrow, you only think about the moment, and how you feel in that moment, so, you forget about your partner and just let your body lead. I know this is probably bull crap to someone, but think about it, you didn’t wake up that morning saying, “today on my to-do list, I'm going to cheat on my partner.” It just happened in that moment. The desires of the body can be a very bad thing, that lead us to do bad things, and sometimes we don’t think of the consequences until after it's done. Now, intentional cheating as you may have already guessed is when you know what you’re about to do—you either planned it way before it happened, or you thought about it. What I mean by you thought about it is, in the moment, you had a little conversation in your head, you thought about your partner, you thought about the consequences, you considered all the options, and if you would be caught now or later. You thought the whole thing through, but you still decided to cheat, that’s intentional, no matter who you lie to that it was a mistake. Sometimes intentional cheating starts with an unintentional cheating—the first time it happened you did not make any effort to stop it from happening again so you went with it. Because I believe you can’t cheat twice and call both times a mistake, no hunnay! Now you are just a cheater.

However, intentional or unintentional, cheating is cheating. Now I'll give you a scenario and think about if it's cheating or not. You go out with your friends to a friends’ party, you know this friend well, so going to their party is no big deal whatsoever. You get to this party and there are a lot of people you don’t know at this party, but still a very decent amount of people you know, enough to not be bored and still have a good time. You mingle a little with the people you don’t know, to make new friends, what’s so wrong with that right? But you drink one too many drinks and maybe smoke a little something, due to peer pressure. Then, you make out with someone, oh I didn’t mention, you have a partner who didn’t come to this party with you, so the person you made out with is some random person at this party. You wake up tomorrow, you realize what happened the night before, did you cheat or not? Was it just a mistake? I think you cheated, unintentionally.

A friend of mine once said, if she cheated, it was the guys’ fault. I was baffled by what she said. She said, the guy needed to apologize to her, because there was something he obviously wasn’t doing right for her to cheat. This makes me laugh 😀 honestly, but hey, people have their opinions, and she may or may have not been joking. Some people say that if you are dating a guy and you make out with a girl it’s not cheating. I used to think that made sense because you were of the same sex. But I realize that was stupid. It is still cheating even if it was a dog you made out with 😀—as long as it was something you do with solely your partner that you were doing with the other person.

Oh, and there’s emotional cheating as well. I've only talked about the physical cheating. Emotional cheating is when you form a bond and develop an attraction to someone else besides your partner, this may or may not include anything physical. I believe I emotionally cheated on my partner once. I know I said I haven’t cheated, I meant physically. But, at the time, I was in an LDR, and I saw someone. I hadn't met this person yet I just saw them. I became severely attracted to them. I honestly did. I am human. I thought about them quite frequently, but sometimes you can choose who you are attracted to, and also choose not to be attracted to someone. Therefore, I made a conscious decision to not talk to this person after we had met and talked a few times, I decided to focus on my relationship instead. So, that attraction that lasted for a short time is what I call emotional cheating. I may not have formed a strong bond with them, but they were constantly on my mind. I think that counts as some type of bond, so that’s why I say I emotionally cheated. Some people may not agree with me on this, but that’s okay.

Now, do you forgive a one time cheater? I personally think you should, depending on the factors around it—this ties into my other story “One bad deed doesn’t define a person.” If you haven't read it, check it out. But if he or she has cheated once, based on the circumstance I think that person deserves a second chance, especially if it was unintentional. If it was intentional, I think the whole relationship needs to be evaluated. Anyways, I am by no means a relationship expert, these things are not black and white, and it comes down to the two people in the relationship. You know who you are and what your relationship is. I just do not believe that, the first time someone cheats, they do not deserve a second chance. The saying, once a cheater, always a cheater, yeah, I might be one of the few that doesn’t believe that. Before you go breaking up or calling it quits, these things should be discussed, whether the person who cheated has a valid reason or wants to run around in circles, give them a chance to say something, at least you didn’t give up without even trying to hold on to the love you share. But the best remedy for this remains, Do Not Cheat!

Was I all over the place in this story? I think I was, welcome to my head 🙂 but if you still like it, I would greatly appreciate a little tip from you down below. Thank you for your support.