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How to Keep Her

Relationship Talk

Photo credit to Joan Carol

So many broken relationships and failed marriages. Does that make us awful for this to occur? No, we’re flawed humans. Not everyone will be compatible. Not every relationship will work. Let’s explore why you lost her and how to keep her.

I’m exploring a woman’s side of things and this is based upon my opinion, observation of other relationships and my own failed relationships. I can’t speak from a man's perspective of things of why it doesn’t work or why he lost her. Let’s start by saying it takes two to tango and the woman could be at fault for losing her guy. Let’s not do any blame games or finger-pointing. Just real talk about things from a woman’s eyes.

The honeymoon phase is over and it’s not as great as it was, in the beginning, things are becoming real. The expectations of how we're supposed to be with each other changes. We’re no longer trying to impress or show the great side of us to keep the other interested. Instead, we get comfortable and start becoming us and showing that. Nothing wrong with that all. As time moves forward things change and we get busy in our lives.

We allow the focus of each other to shift. These days technology plays a big factor in the loss of interest or connection. That’s why things change in the relationship is because of the connection or lack of interest. We become so comfortable that we feel our best isn’t needed anymore. That he or she will love me still. That’s true, however, if he or she is important to you, then why aren’t they deserving of all the good you have to offer? Why just be comfortable?

I’ve noticed in my own relationships and friends of mines relationships that the guy loses interest or doesn’t feel the need to do anything. That it’s okay not to kiss her, to touch her, to talk to her and make her feel wanted. That it’s not required, and hey, she’s with me so why do anything else? In our relationships, we want to feel wanted to be desired and loved. Once we don’t feel, that's when problems arise. Whatever problem your facing in the relationship can be fixed or resolved. If you talk with your partner about how you feel about less intimacy or displays of affection, then the two of you should be able to convey that openly and honestly without feeling it will lead to a fight or argument.

Why is it so hard to communicate how you feel? If you two can’t communicate maybe this isn’t the partner for you. You can resolve the problems by talking it out, seeking counsel or gathering your lessons and move on. Not every relationship is meant to work those relationships that just can’t work after much effort are the stepping stones to a better relationship. If your partner means something to you then work on the relationship the easiest thing to do is talk and listen. Body language can tell you so much as well. If she doesn’t want to be intimate there is a reason. Find out that reason. If she is acting differently or has lost interest in how your day is then there is a reason. She may be feeling unwanted or unappreciated. It could be many things. If you don’t care, then she doesn’t care then move on.

You want to make it work and keep her yours always then make her feel wanted, make her feel like she’s the only one that matters to you. You don’t have to kiss all the time but doing so every now and then she’ll appreciate it because you still want her sweet love. You want intimacy more than she does then talk it out about how to meet in the middle of that maybe just foreplay. Have good conversations with her make it feel like the first date to keep the spark. Even though your grown adults have some fun acting like kids getting each other with water guns. Be playful, be interested, show affection, pay attention to her, talk to her and make her feel that no other woman could come close. That’s how to keep her.

I don’t know what goes on in a man’s head. Yes, ladies, I know what you’re thinking it’s all about sex but I’m not quick to think that. Without knowing a man’s view on how he sees things I think that if he does this with her and her with him the relationship should be great. My opinion. Now I will say this I believe men want sex more than women and some women love it just as much, but that intimacy isn’t going to happen if she feels unloved and unwanted. My opinion if you keep her happy then intimacy should be great. If you're not talking to each other, don’t care what’s going on with each other, don’t care about each other’s feelings, don’t care how sour things are then how do you expect intimacy to work?

Relationships aren’t that hard it’s the people in them that make them hard. If you can love one another, respect each other, be interested, have conversations even if it’s five minutes, be playful, honest and open then I don’t see why there would be a problem.

Just a woman’s take on this and I hope it’s helpful in some way. If she matters to you then make the relationship matter.

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