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How To Take Back Control Of Your Love Life

Put your best foot forward.

I know what you are thinking...what love life? No, no, jokes aside; there's this forever impending doom and gloom of pursuing a potential relationship with anybody (that is unless you are a super smooth individual in which I should let you depart us now and use your wisdom rather than spend your time on this article). However, for those of you still here, I intend to pass my wisdom on. 

The first part I would consider as the most important is, that's right, actually finding a love interest (who would've thought?). A massive part of this is taking the risk to actually go for it and put yourself out there as a candidate for romance. The biggest step I found was letting go of all expectations instilled by others and aiming for love if you like them. There is such a culture of dating and waiting where you take your time and only have three relationships your entire life whereas I have a different approach. In my opinion, if you see someone that you like then why not just go for it? Why let someone else dictate how you spend your life? People can try to give you flack for it but after all, there is nothing shameful about having a good time, risking heartbreak, and annoying those only set out to find their one true love and nobody else. You can find someone you like in so many ways whether you work with them or have daily Tinder sexting sessions. You just have to approach it casually and slowly. Show off your interest in them without scaring them off in the process. You can do this by flirting so long as you do it whilst looking for their own signals that they aren't interested such as their body language or the obvious one...a ''no''. It can be a different case if you are talking to them online and the signals may not always be that clear. However, it is always good to look out for them seeming distant and not engaging in conversation well with short unenthusiastic replies. 

Secondly, if you do manage to flirt your way to stage two, you will want to date the person first, even if you've already both partaken in third base activities (I sound like a 16-year-old saying that don't I?). Jumping straight into a relationship just is the type of risk taking that doesn't work a lot of the time. Finding out about each other on an intimate level without the level of commitment is a solid way to decide whether or not you should both take this further. This is is both good for you and your love interest as it also gives them control. It also is important to remember that your interest also has a monopoly over where this goes and that you need to listen to them and accept how they feel. 

The third part is not allowing yourself to become trapped in a relationship if you do not want to be in it. Remember what I said about risking heartbreak? If you aren't feeling a relationship then don't let it linger. So long as you are a good person about it there is no harm in ending a relationship at all. But this also works the other way around. It is all well and good to fight for something that you believe in but relationships do end and no matter how much it may hurt, you need to remember that if it is ending it means it isn't meant to be. Unfortunately sometimes love works like that. But this doesn't mean it is the end of all the good in the world. 

The last part is finding you again, taking time to heal, and remembering that you have all the time in the world to find somebody with trial and error just being a big part of it. Take control of your own love life, take risks, and see where it takes you because at the end of the day, life is all about those things and so long as you do it in a healthy and positive way (not like a player or as Marina and the Diamonds would call it, a Heartbreaker), it is foolproof!  

Still aren't convinced? Well, fair enough but take it from me, it worked for me over the last five years just great. In all seriousness, if I hadn't just gone for it after my break up with a certain somebody that I cannot name, then I would never have found the man I am with and have been with for nearly two years now. If that isn't proof enough I don't know what is! The important thing to remember is just to go and take risks and do what your heart wants you to do. That is how you put your best foot forward. 

Good luck with your relationship endeavors! 

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