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I know you will never see this but I thought I would write this. I have to get my feelings out. I loved you. I don’t mean the thing you say when you are sixteen to your boyfriend or girlfriend of two weeks. But the kind where I considered it to be real. I no longer feel that way about you. I now have stronger feelings for someone else. I felt betrayed by you. I felt upset that you threw away a four-year friendship on a whim. From what I’ve heard recently you have done this to a lot of people. I’m sorry you and Holly didn’t work out. I kinda already knew it wouldn’t work. So, I will leave it at that. Luke has taught me that sometimes its better to let people go rather than keep them in your life when they nothing to help you get better. I depended on you for my happiness and stability which wasn’t fair on you I get that. But a true friend wouldn’t leave when I push them away. Luke never has. Through all the shit I throw his way he breaks down my barriers and gets me to open up. You never did that for me. What you still hadn’t learnt about me is that I don’t just open up you need to get it out of me with a hammer and chisel. You have to dig and dig to find the issue that needs to be talked about otherwise I won't talk about it. But then you wouldn’t know that because it was all poems and metaphors which never really helped me. But I loved them because I loved you. That’s over now. I don’t love you anymore.
I love another. No joke he’s the best thing I have in my life. I think I’ve always loved him no matter what he does or says I always stick beside him because that’s what you when you love someone. You accept them for themselves. He’s taken away the darkness and made it bright again. He knows when I’m unhappy. Right now, I don’t burden him with anything because he’s got a lot on his mind. Not that you would care.
The girls and I don’t talk anymore. But you probably knew that given until recently you spoke to them. Whatever they told you I couldn’t have given less of a shit. I just want to make it clear that there are faults on both sides not just mine or theirs but both.
I hope you receive the life you deserve.
26th January, 2018
I believe this is a long time overdue. And I'm sorry it took me so long. I was upset, I was angry, I felt betrayed. I don't anymore. Not only do I accept your apology I forgive you. And now ask for your forgiveness for taking so long. You were my best friend and you still are my friend, if you'll accept me again. If not, it's been an honour and this will always be a regret. I can’t lie I missed you. When Lewis told me about your message I wanted to say something but I still didn’t know what to say. I hope you can forgive me for not being sooner. I hope you've been okay prongs. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me
1st February, 2018
Red and brown her hair flowed and ebbed like a flag within the night. Within her eyes stars, sparkle ignited with her light. Her body a temple her mind a gift her soul a song unmatched. If you read her story in a thousand books the surface wouldn’t be scratched. Though she walks with doubt upon her shoulders my heart is filled with pride. For she is my friend my warrior and I'll fight right by her side. Until that day my sword falls limp and I finally am set free. And her song will sing upon the stars upon that twinkling sea.
30th December, 2018
Gabby, prongs, war goddess of Jupiter. Hear my words. You are incredible, truly. You have remained a solid flame burning throughout my life since the time you came into it. Time may turn like that CD we listened that first day, but you have stayed unwavering. I know we don't always talk but when we do it's always a brilliant time, even if I annoy you with the small flirty moments, FYI, mwah aha aha. You are a beautiful person with a heart of passion and a mind of majesty. You are special to me and I hope I make you happy and treat me right. That's really important to me. Just like you.