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Love (Part 3)
Well, hello again.
Thank you for joining me, thank you also if you’ve read parts one and two. If you haven’t and this is your first piece, that’s okay. Thank you for taking the time to read this one. Feel free to read the other two, they’re a journey.
Shameless plug over let’s get right into it.
Love is a rollercoaster. It’s one of life’s greatest mysteries. No one can truly define it, everyone has their own take on it. I know I do. I know it can be downright cruel at times, but I also know it can be so rewarding and so joyous. You’ve just got to persevere with it. Good things will come.
At this moment in time I’m taking a step back from love. The intense side of it anyway, I’m exhausted from it all. For years I’ve loved and I’ve lost the people I’ve loved so I’m taking a break from it. Focusing on myself and bettering myself before falling again.
And that’s so important, self care. Self love. I’m not writing tonight about loving someone else and what love can do to you, no, no, no. I’m talking about taking care of yourself—myself for instance.
I want to explore the feelings that we feel when we’re on our own, not in love, not really keen on the idea of it. We go through a complex range of emotions: Despair, loneliness, elation, happiness, joy, there’s too many to list.
I know when we’re not in love, we feel those exact same emotions and that’s good. I actually prefer it that way—experiencing the lowest of the low and the greatest moments possible, all without a partner.
I’ll explain. I’ve been dealt some truly horrible cards whilst in a relationship and it fucking breaks you. It tests your love and strains it, especially without the experience. Now I’m not saying to go out and get fucked over just so you can be fucked over in a relationship and handle it better. Far from it actually, I’m saying that when we’re dealt a shit hand, we should learn from it, take it in and grow.
I’ve struggled with being out of love. I’m still struggling with the whole thing, I know a lot of people are at this very moment. But, it’s actually a good thing. Nowadays relationships are needed—not to me, but to a lot of people. Relationships are what keeps them going and I used to be like that. I really did, but now?
Now things have changed.
And I’m actually okay with that.
I’m okay with being out of love and I’m okay with being on my own.
That’s why I’m writing this piece. To let you all know that it’s okay to be on your own, it’s okay to give up on love for a while. It’s also okay to be head over heels for the damn thing. Of course it is.
There’s nothing we can do to try and ignore it. We would be fools to do so. If you find yourself hating the word "love," join my club. It can be a funny old thing. One day I was chasing my heart, the next I’m listening to my head and I couldn’t have felt more free.
I am alive. We are alive.
We are free.
I can safely say that I am happy being free, loving my family, my bitch of a cat, the world and everything that comes with it. Love doesn’t necessarily have to be with a woman, or a man, or anyone. It doesn’t have to come in the form of a relationship, it doesn’t have to be bitter or hated.
It can be forgotten about for a while and it can surprise you in so many ways.