Presence vs. Presents

Spending quality time with those you love...

In a time where “things” seem to matter more than actually being there, it is so crucial to remember that some things can be cherished versus just for a little while. Time is the one thing that we cannot get back, but it is something that we can use either to build precious, sweet memories or be remembered for the times that we were distant and nowhere to be found. Sending sweet and thoughtful gifts in your time of absence is not a terrible thing, in and of itself, but when it replaces time together with your loved one, it diminishes the moments that could have been sweet with ash and blue feeling memories.

This is not made to make anyone feel anything less than what they are, but to show that there is so much more than things. What happens if you lose all of the things you worked so hard for but in the process, lost everyone you loved and cared for? You are alone and unheard. Slow down, enjoy every moment, and make time for those that are most important to you.

Balance is such a beautiful thing and it can be achieved just by daily succeeding at making time with what means the most to you. Clear out your schedule, make some you time and remember that is okay to breathe. It is okay to wake up in the morning and think to yourself “I am not doing anything today but spending time with what I find the most pleasure in.” There is nothing wrong with taking days off from work and shutting off all technology and being alone with your significant other or taking family trips to another state or even country. There is nothing wrong with separating yourself and taking days off to explore the city that you live in, trying new foods, fresh juices, and meeting interesting people.

Society has taught us that to be busy means to have a successful life and I am not knocking being busy, productive, and living to your fullest potential. However, what I AM doing is challenging you to take in the beautiful artistry of this Earth and smell the roses that may just be right in front of you. Show some gratitude and be thankful. Be present and do not just chase the things; chase those things and loved ones that matter the most to you.

Do you know the signs of when you need to take a break and just spend time with the things and people that you love? I have learned that from experience, it can both simultaneously be in plain sight but also so very easy to miss it. So with that being said, I have made it easy for you to see clearly the signs, and this is huge! Here we go:

1. 1This may be the biggest and most obvious sign of all: you are more agitated than normal. // Let me just say, it is not always easy to spot and can be missed but that is one of the biggest telltale signs for me, but yours could be different.
2. You seem to get into more arguments more with your significant other. // My goodness is this one another HUGE one! Not as obvious, but still oh so relevant. Listen to your partner and voice what your expectations are, but do not expect them to always fulfill it for you. You must love yourself.
3. You do not seem to be as fulfilled as you used to be. // This is another sign that you need to spend alone time with either yourself, with your partner or even both. This one does require a little bit more thought to it as this one can be tricky to pinpoint what is really going on beneath the surface.

Those are my biggest three telltale signs that seem to come up most for me when I need alone time with myself, my partner or both. It will more than likely differ between persons so do not take this as law or something, just a guideline.

Another few pointers that I would like to add are ways to just be alone with yourself and your partner. Most of them are budget-friendly, others, not so much. You choose what you are comfortable are most comfortable doing.

1. My biggest recommendation is to silence or turn off your cell phone and rid yourself of all distractions and just head somewhere private with your love. It can be the beach, the forest, the mountains, a local hotel, etc.
2. Take a dance or fitness class together. Find something you both love and take a month’s worth of classes. Not only will you be happy, but healthy, also.
3. Take a picnic in the park. Be creative and go the extra mile by home cooking all of your meals together to take to the park and just chill and take in the scenery. It is so awesome what you can experience once you slow down to smell the roses and grass in front of you.
4. Road trip together without an end destination. Just pack your stuff, get some goodies for on the road and just drive away for a week or two.
5. Book a vacation together somewhere tropical or in the mountains. Silence those cell phones and you will thank me later for it.

In all of this creating of memories of alone time with your spouse, create a journal, write down all of those beautiful memories and, in the end, when you are wrinkly with old age, look back at those cherished moments and see, you can bring those memories with you. In the good and in the hard times, it definitely does matters. You matter. They matter.

Until next time, enjoy this adventure!