Showing Love ≠ Emptying Your Pockets

Many people out here think and believe that the person who says they love them has to spend a lot of money to show that love. The bigger the diamond, the bigger the love, Uhhh... NO! That couldn’t be more wrong. The way I see it, if you fell out of love with that person, they could easily go and get that same diamond for the next person they get into a relationship with. So, that love was not unique to you. The get-aways, the clothes, expensive jewelry, and what have you. Some people equate that to love, but it’s not. Sure, it’s an amazing thing to spend all the money you possibly can on the one you love, and vice versa, I am all for that. But ask yourself, if they lost the money today would you still stick around. Money and materials things are fleeting, you spend the money, you use the stuff, it runs out, or ends. Real love is deep rooted in all of the things that make a person.

Waiting for someone to splurge on us to show their love only means that we ourselves don’t love them. And thinking you should always spend money to show your love means you also don’t love the person enough. Sometimes it may be the pressure of the partner, the way they act, or the things they do may imply that you need to be spending a lot of money on them. And because you love them so much, you keep pulling out money from the beyond; you deserve better. Love shows itself in the smaller things, the things that we often overlook. The way a person talks to you, their consideration towards you, where you are on their priority list, what they give up, or sacrifice for you, how they address you in public, how they portray you to others. I could go on, but there are so many ways to show your love for someone, that goes deeper than any amount of money.

Spend money on the one you love, let the one you love spend money on you, that’s okay. Just do not let that be the definition of your love. Don’t be like, “I love you so much, so I bought you this car.” It should be a sign of appreciation, not a sign of your love, because we can lose it in any instance. The little things people we love do for us, or the things we do for them are the things that stick, they don’t run out, they are forever yours or theirs. But that dress, it is not going to fit one day hunnay... and then you’ll have to give it away or sell it.

Speaking of money and love, there is a common misconception among some men, which is, throw money at her, and she’ll respond to you. It does not matter how many women in the world love money so much that it’s their life, it doesn’t matter if some women will go out with you if you spend money on them. It is very disrespectful to assume that a woman is worth as little as your money. I think its degrading, because it seems like you are just buying her. Sometimes a guy might be “shooting his shots” at a woman, and gets rejected, then he persists and starts spending money on her. Buying stuff she didn’t ask for, surprising her with gifts... so, she said no to you, maybe she’ll say yes to the money. No, what if she actually agrees, then it’s not you, she doesn’t want anything to do with you, she has no feelings for you, it’s your money. Don’t you think you deserve better than that? Everyone deserves better than that. At a very young age, I believe I was 14 or 15, I was walking home from the store at night, not late into the night, more like six PM to seven PM. I am not sure what I went to get, but as I was on my own, minding my business, this man approached me. He was short, looked like he was in his late thirties, and had a pot-belly, picture that, he came up to me, and was trying to talk to me, talking about how I looked pretty. I was like, boy, its dark, not pitch black, but not enough to recognize all of someone's facial features to tell they were beautiful, but of course this was in my head. I tried to tell him, hey mister, I am not interested, I'm just trying to go home, and then he proceeds to bring out some money from his pockets, and then hands it to me, this is Naira not Dollars, so if anything, I'm less inclined to take it, ha!😀 (Just kidding I wouldn’t take it either way, that’s not me). I remember getting so mad, like very mad, that he had the effrontery to think that I was some product. Ouuuu... you don’t know all the words I was about to tell this man, but alas I remained a little civilized. I chuckled, and said something along the lines of “my father can provide all the money I need, I do not need you to be giving me money, so excuse me.” I think it worked, because a few seconds later I was left alone.

So, men and women out there thinking that your money can buy love, can show love, think again. Love cannot be bought, it's bigger than everything.