Three Strikes Relationships Rule

Two Rules, One Outcome

The goal of my relationship rules are simple:

1. Date three men of your choosing.
2. Any of those relationships with said men fail to continue, then become celibate.

Dating & Relationships

I had two relationships that failed to procure any great interest in keeping. One was to a junkie and manic depressive which only lasted ten months. The other was to a military brat who suffered from daddy issues and it worked for only one year before crumbling apart (infidelity over loyalty). But as for the third relationship, I found it very interesting because we are almost mirrored images of ourselves, and therefore makes the relationship equally split into two. So far, we are still currently dating and he has been hunting for a ring nearly two years and counting (the dreaded part of many millennial relationships is when it lasts longer than two years, but I don't mind it going on for longer).

Yet I always get the question of whether or not I have considered leaving the current relationship and dating someone else? I have had at least one person tell me to dump boyfriend #3 after just two years of dating because he doesn't have a ring yet (my father would have shot the bastard if he ever put a ring on my finger before we've been together for two years). I've had another person tell me I was a patient woman if a man didn't put a ring on my finger (okay seriously, what is with the whole Year 2 get engaged bullshit? It won't for my family or his, they'd shoot either of us for that crap).

To be honest, I'm tired at this point. I am done with dating and I am done with everything that comes from it. If you can't find someone equal to your own personality and character, then surely you have set your standards too high. I've seen girls my age get married after knowing a guy for only two years, yet three years or five years down the road they're divorced because they got married young. Then they repeat the same process with a different man, but then the second time it turns out alright because you actually found someone who could put up with your antics.

Why be alone?

I never started dating until I was 16. I didn't have a best friend until I was 13. I was practically trying to fit in and all it did was isolate me from people and it was hard to just find someone who was interested in getting to know me or hang out with me. Mostly, my time alone was always recovering from some illness I'd catch at school and watching movies under a blanket all day, then going to school after being put on antibiotics and making up a week's worth of homework and classwork for two whole days.

But going through men, once I started dating, has often left me to forget about myself. I have neglected my body, my ambitions, my drive, and my career. I've never been alone by myself. I never took myself out on a date and to be honest, I'm interested in doing it because I have never explored who I am. I've always seen myself as frail and weak, which is true from the run of the dating mill I put myself into.

I feel the need to one day take charge of everything and do something for myself. The problem is I haven't worked on when it would be appropriate. Do I do it while I'm in a relationship? When I am one month removed from a relationship?

Would you break the rules?

I don't think I could ever break the rules. As I said, I'm done. I don't want to keep on dating or going out to find something if I did anything to screw up a relationship. If we fall apart, that's fine; we're adults and whoever breaks up with whom can live their life however they want.

I have always lived my life by rules. Sometimes they're archaic rules I have made up because I don't want to be out of line or be seen as psychotic (this commonly happens when I smile out of random and people have offered me anti-depressants).

If some people want to say that I'm shutting myself away, I'll let them say it. I'm not going to use dating apps or websites for the purpose of just being with someone because it is a social status rule of some sort. I'm ugly enough that if I broke up with the guy I was with now, then I'm upset because he was the best thing that happened to me and I'm not really attractive to nail anyone or anything. Besides, if I was to say I was perfectly comfy with what I have, then shouldn't that be a good thing to consider?