It's Okay to Cut off People Who Are Being Toxic in Your Life
I like to be aware of the fact that I am in control of my life. I like the thought of being in control of who can be in my life and who can't. I have had many people enter my life and at first it seems like they are the type of people that I want in my life. But have you ever heard the saying, "you are the reflection of the top five people you surround yourself with"? Well, the first time I heard this saying, I thought I was the most amazing, if not the greatest person there could possibly be. I thought that if someone ever described a person who was perfect, amazing, real, beautiful, and smart then they would be describing me. It took me a long time to realize that I was not that type of person at all, in fact I was the opposite. I don't have a reason as to why I thought so highly of myself except for the fact that I surrounded myself with people who were very great friends at first and then started to convince me that no one else mattered except for them and myself. I was not a good person at all, I was rude, I talked badly about many people on social media and in person, I treated my parents badly and did whatever I wanted without even thinking about how bad it would break my parents' heart if they ever caught me. I had no idea what real friends were, the friends I had were the type of friends that you read about online. The type of friends who are described as, "teens who weren't raised right." I didn't have any friends who were described as caring or loving. I would push anyone who could possibly care about me away because my "real friends" had me convinced that they didn't really care about me and that they were just liars. I didn't think anyone else cared about me. I didn't acknowledge that anyone else could possibly love and care about me the way I cared about myself. I truly believed that if I ever got into a disagreement with my parents or if I ever got into a serious problem then my friends would be there to support me to the fullest. My friends were supportive, they loved to see me doing good in life, but never better than them. One night I grew tired of being the person that I was. It was 4 in the morning and I suddenly had the urge to get my life back together. I told myself that no matter how hard it was, or how long it took, I would finally be the person that I wanted to be. I was tired of disappointing everyone. I was tired of messing up. I wanted to finally give my parents a reason to be proud of me. I wanted them to finally be able to brag about me to their friends and co-workers and not feel forced to do so because the other person started bragging about their kids first as if it were some competition. I was going to be a better person, and as my parents always told me, it all starts with the people I surround myself with.