Love Chukes
Bio
"She wore her heart like high fashion. She had small shame in her game. She wrote with purest intentions. She held her mind to the blame."
I enjoy writing poetry, short stories, sudden revelations, and human confessions.
Stories (13/0)
The Extinguished - Healing Unsettled
I've been tired so long, that at times it seems impossible to escape - this way of being, existing. Overwhelmed with the eternal to-do list of self-improvement. It's so easy to get caught up in the hustle and bustle of this 3D reality. There's always bills to be paid. Jobs to be worked. Money to be made. Trauma to finally heal through. Study to be done.
By Love Chukes4 months ago in Humans
i think i hate U
I know hate is a strong word, but these days, when I think of you, I no longer get that warm feeling. See, we shared sweat, but never mournings. I shared my dreams, and this bed and all the tricks I had learned in it- with you. You'd furrow your brow and lick your fingers and read me like a book. You told me I was good for you. So good, we outlined more chapters in the middle of the night on the phone. Til the phone just stopped ringing. Too many false alarms with my almost lover, with his hand on my triggers.
By Love Chukes3 years ago in Confessions
Love Yourz
On my way down, I caught another 3:33 on the phone. I was on my way towards the love of my own life. The number had been trailing me like a puppy seeking shelter in the middle of the night. Just two lost souls showing up in each other's life- fated, searching for a home with other souls. Finding love in new places, getting lost in seemingly familiar faces. I thought you were meant for me - almost fully realized, but most definitely premeditated. I had looked it up before; I still managed to forget what it meant, and what it was supposed to mean for me during times like this. Anxiety was a slow killer- a light blocker. It was 3:33 AM when I popped up, straight out another dream with you still fresh in my eyes. I didn't have to see your face to feel you round me. The energy introduced itself, and somehow quietly, became my favorite. It lingered in the air like the sweat of dancing, jumbled in with hints of weed smoke, and the sweetness of some hard-hitting waffle house pancakes. We were like honey with a side of tobacco. Almost alright. And perhaps, not as bad as we feared.
By Love Chukes3 years ago in Confessions
Free Pearl.
Every time I came home, you loved me. Your sights weren't as clear as they had once been; age and being left out, despite loyalty, weathered you vulnerable. There was still excitement in your leaps and bounds, your rugged pants as you leapt inevitably towards some kind of Heaven on Earth. I was your snack-sourcing belly-rubber. But I held extended my arms with timidity, excusing myself to a box in your life too. You had loyalty so unconditional, I wondered if you could remember resentments at all. How much time did it ever take you to forgive? We thought change was better than staying inside. We left you out in the cold too many times.
By Love Chukes3 years ago in Petlife
the move.
My humble Rose - I almost had you in the palm of my hands. And not in the way I held most other lovers - gradually at a distance and with silent uncertainty. But in the way a mother cradled her newborn, still, in awe at another world in her arms. It was better than an arm's reach. I didn't dare breathe too heavy. You looked so good at peace. I wished you gold in your dreams.
By Love Chukes3 years ago in Poets
fathering.
Letting go was the best way I could love myself when I couldn't string the perfect words. There was no explanation I could've provided for my choices; I left you with nothing to cling to except maybe confusion. It simply didn't serve us any longer to hold on so tight. I trusted in anything bigger- in fate. I never stopped loving you. Your longer days and dark nights taught me patience. And I could get through more nights without worrying about you so much, but, still, putting myself first felt new, but . . . good. Better than before. Attending to matters of the heart in perfect solitude.
By Love Chukes3 years ago in Poets
restless.
I wish my pussy had learned to be more loyal to love earlier. I mean that with all the forgiveness I can muster. She had become a woman early; too many young friends with similar stories. We was poppin pussy for the sport; some attention to wound never healed. I spent the rest of my days trying to catch up with the inner child left behind. I could hardly bring her back from the dead. Back then? Those were the days I hated myself the most, when existence felt so crowded it was almost always lonely. Surrounded by people like me, and many invisibles. Pain was the name of the game. Even in escaping you had to participate. Deadly shit for real. I walked by spirits daily- many with flesh left on the bones. Few shone like inexplicable light. Too many left hungry. I remember the days when loneliness would stir me so quickly off the path. There was never a real need for new company, but I figured something new had a better chance of filling the voids I never could.
By Love Chukes3 years ago in Humans
Over-extension - Different Plane
Different Plane. We never touched, but you felt me, though you hate to admit it. You were a beauty in the dark, stealing kisses every time we closed our eyes. I found the music of me, with you. I could almost hear the choir in our laughter. I could almost taste heaven on your breath. Congregating melodies and bodies, twisting and shining with the sweat of the unseen praise and worship. And then one day, suddenly, it was like the lights switched on. Like we had ironically been dancing on our graves blinded by our own expectations of what life was supposed to be. Too much had been spent on pedestals that sat Kings who wouldn’t dare break their neck to look down, too worried what they might discover neglected at the backs of their own shadows. I watched while you settled your heart on fleeting desires and choked on reality in all its bittersweet. Too much spotlight beamin' down over our rhythms of sin. Perhaps it was the little love we knew, that left us desperate to hold on to anything stronger. I could almost see us making something of love, even if it forced our hands at magic and prayer. I kept finding myself escaping lack of home, to you. I tried desperately to re-create familiar scenes that had never quite played out, blurring the line wishful thinking and gut feelings. I left you monologues expecting no applause. Just another insecurity, trapezing around your subconscious, waiting for us to materialize into something more.
By Love Chukes4 years ago in Poets
C.R.E.A.M.
When insanity peaked, I couldn’t just rub my eyes. It clawed at my inner eyelids and climbed up the ribs left in my chest. I was filled with this desire to let go of what no longer served me- the messages never sent, the calls never returned, the time never spent, spotlights with nobody to show for it. I lost my pepe and sugar. I couldn’t muster a smile if touch tickled my insides. I didn’t allow time for suffering to exist. Salt water pricked, welled up, but never jumped. All my fear turned to anger. It was easier to feel aggressively than in the quiet. I was afraid. If I had shed tears for you, I wasn’t sure that they would ever stop. I was too afraid to mourn; they say it’s all a part of acceptance and feeling things. but even the unnatural things, the forbidden, the taboo, the hidden- when it all came to light, did you still love everything you saw?
By Love Chukes4 years ago in Poets