Malik Myers
Stories (1/0)
The Way I Feel
I don't know anymore, about anything. To be honest I don't know which way is up or down, and which way is left or right. Truth be told I'm lost. You can say I'm like a sailor without a compass. I feel as useful as an airplane without any fuel. Ever since I lost her I don't know the purpose of my life. I can't feel joy, happiness, or get excited anymore. Now I'm just sad, down, and just... depressed. I thought about suicide but I wouldn't go through with it, because other people would be sad. I keep telling myself that "it will get better," but deep down I know that it won't get better... at least not without her. I hate feeling like this, I was ten years clean from cutting, ten years I'll never be able to get back. People keep asking me what's wrong, I don't really want to tell them, so I just tell them and myself "I'm fine," when really I feel more useful dead. I just feel like I'm nothing, like I never was anything and I never will be something. I know there is such thing as real love, but why does there have to be pain? Why do people have to play games with people's hearts? It makes me so sad that every time I put my heart into something, my heart always gets stepped on, spit on, hit, and shoved right back into my chest. Why can't I enjoy everything I used to love to do, like make songs, play video games, and hangout with friends. I can't find any happiness, maybe because I can't get her out of my head... or maybe there is something wrong with me. I don't want to do anything.
By Malik Myers6 years ago in Humans