My Brutally Honest CV/Resume
To Whom It May Concern,
Work
I'm an intelligent employee with continuous brain farts. Give me a new project or a task, explain what I'm supposed to do and watch me stare at you with foggy eyes, my mouth slightly open and a demeanor full of "huuuh?" End up overwhelmingly confused two to three days after, as I deliver what you asked for. I will take fierce pride in my work, be it conquering the markets by a product I hold dear or mucking a horse stall to perfection. I respect my colleagues and give second chances with ease. I have a hard time controlling face expressions when disagreeing. I may burst into wild laughter in the middle of a teleconference and I may not be able to make it stop. Most of my jokes are not suitable for an open office set up. I give credit to others for their work and never miss an opportunity to spare compliments or positive feedback. Be dishonest, treat others unfairly, show disrespect towards the janitor/cleaning lady or try and manipulate me, I will walk out the door.